this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
