my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
