Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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