I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
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Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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