I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
