RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
