so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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