Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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