I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
