Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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