Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize