Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
