girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
