its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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