I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize