redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
