She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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