Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
