I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
