Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
