im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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