She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
