Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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