i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
