she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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