That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
