I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
