He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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