At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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