Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
