okay pat passed out under dana's car
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
