we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
