If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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