I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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