Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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