and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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