Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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