I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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