Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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