i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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