Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
