I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Small penises have feelings too.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
