Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I need a beard to bite.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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