I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
