Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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