Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
whose parrot is this?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
