bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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