Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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