Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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