with your own penis?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize