I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
