I love black thongs
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
