ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i think my cat just said my name.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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