I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
