I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
