I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
