She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
