Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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