and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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