you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
