She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
PANTIES FOUND
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