Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
