just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize