I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
stop calling my apartment porn island.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
