I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
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Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
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He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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