I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
