I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
FUCK WHALES
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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