Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
